Today is Jeff's birthday and I'm planning on taking him out for supper tonight. We've got to exchange one of the pairs of jeans I got him for his present (Tractor Supply-the only store that has his length/waist size) and go to the library before we go to Fat Cat's. The sun is shining and the temp is suppose to be in the 30's...above freezing...for a change. Tried to order flowers for my friend's funeral online w/o any luck so I called Massaro's...should have done that in the 1st place! More snow tomorrow and then again Sunday night. Is this March coming in like a lion?
When you die don't expect me to attend your funeral...if it's not in Herkimer. Funerals are not my thing to start with. I'd rather visit a cemetery any day than go to a funeral. Maybe it comes from living so close to 4 of them for most of my life. Maybe it's something I inherited from my father. He avoided funerals whenever possible but walked our dogs thru the cemetery every day. When he died we had a graveside service...military...but no church service for him. (And I never could get the dog to walk in that cemetery again after that day. Weird?) When my mom was dying...after out-living her brothers and sisters, my dad, several nieces and nephews, many friends...she made it very clear she wanted no service at all. It wasn't necessary...so I honored her wishes and had none. And that's the way I want it when I die. Just a simple cremation, and while I'd like my ashes to be spred along the shore of Lake Pleasant, I know that will be impossible so just bury them in the designated spot with my parents. No fuss.
Now, this attitude doesn't always make me popular with family (what's left) and friends but honestly, I don't care anymore. I think the funeral industry has gotten too big and too expensive. It use to be a time to say good-bye, remember good and bad times, laugh and cry. Then the Victorians got ahold of it and things started to get out of proportion. Wife, mother, daughters were in mourning and wore full black for a year, then gray for 6 month, then maybe mauve for another 6 months before returning to their normal wardrobe and existence. Jewelers created mourning brooches...lockets with strands of hair from the dead person in them...so a reminder of the dead person could be with you always (as if you needed help remembering them). Funerals processions became parades. Horses...used to draw the carriages...were decorated with black ribbons and big plumes of feathers. Sometimes there'd be bagpipes or drums to accompany the casket on its final journey. The length of time for calling hours kept getting longer...when I was a child it had stretched to 3 days and evenings. (Why it's now it's back to 1 evening or a few hours before the service may have something to do with the cost...do you think the funeral director lets you use his facility free of charge...or the decrease in the number of people attending?)
While I prefer going to graveside servies, I still go to calling hours when I can and send flowers when I can't but traveling to a funeral isn't somthing I'm
willing to do anymore. (Hell, traveling more than 30 minutes to anything isn't something I really enjoy.) I never understood why my mom thought riding in a car for more half an hour to be a strain or what weather conditions had to do with anything but as
I've gotten older and developed my own set of aches and pains I've come to understand her reasoning. It
takes me the entire day after I worked in the shop
to recover from the effort (and that's with a trip of only 35 miles each way.) A trip to Utica is a major
excursion! All that traffic and those roads! No, thank you! If I can't do/buy/see what I'm looking for close to home I'll go online to find it. Hey, maybe that's what we need...online funerals!
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